Monday, November 06, 2006
Huge castles, noble people, giant statues, beautiful paintings, fountains and an amazing arcanic army. The king had a huge empire but lately he had been having strange feelings like if some one was watching him. One day as he was falling asleep, he could feel the walls move around him like shadows,BOOOSH! The devil comes out of the ground like a raging animal with rabies and condemns the king claiming his soul."Holy Shit!" exclaimed the king was shaking in his boots.The only way out is to destroy his allied empire that his own brother controlled. Pain, madness, the king was possessed and nobody knew what had happened to him, his whole personality and appearance changed, deeper voice, long nails and ragged face, the king changed completely. “Attack!” yelled the king as he sends his army into allied lands “kill my brother! He’s a traitor” yelled the king. For the devil this was a simple fun game and just wanted to see blood be spilled. “Ahhhggg!” Yelled his brother as the king swing his blade over his brother’s head. Back home the king realizes what he did and overcomes the devil and commits a suicide to get rid of the devil.
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5 comments:
This is a good story but maybe more detail and be careful of run-on sentences. Also, try to write more clearly. This almost sounds like a newspaper article but it is good.
Please add more detail--it sounds like you were trying to rush and finish, and I don't want you to! You have some awesome ideas--take some time and write them out a little more....
it was ok it gives alot detail like what stf said good though could of had a bit more horror.
Heyy! Your story is good! I especially like how your font is in green...! You should consider adding more detail though!:)
Your story is really good. Just try to put a little more detail on how the king changed throughout the story
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